came home today after a long day in school, and the whole day i was feeling listless, and my mind's been filled thinking about lots of stuff.

and then i took a shower after coming back, and without the distractions of people and technology, God just suddenly visited me. and i wasnt praying or anything. he just came, and we had sort of a conversation. i wasnt talking out loud, but my spirit inside was communing with Him. and God was listening to my thoughts the whole day, and he just had a conversation with me, so real, and it was really what i needed.

he brought me to the time of issac and jacob. back to the first book of genesis. and god showed me how fast issac married rebecca. just waiting for a sign, for a woman whose flock was waiting to be fed, and then after that a meal between them both, and they got married. and i'm very sure their marriage was a happy one. they're decendants of abraham ! and then god took me to jacob and rachel. the moment jacob saw rachel, he fell in love with her, and served 14 years just to get her hand in marriage. and it was a really happy one too, considering jacob's two favourite sons were through rachel. 

society has made relationships so complex, so many conditions, so many factors, and its deceived so many people, making people have the impression, that they have to be so much more, just so they can find a life partner. this screwed up perception has made people view relationships according to a person's qualifications, looks, achivements etc. and i dont deny, that its deceived even us christians as well.

but God really spoke to me today. look at issac and jacob. they never really went through looking at qualifications, compatibility whatsoever. and i as a christian, finding a life partner, doesnt really have any conditions to fulfill. in the end, its all just about whether feelings for each other are mutual, and if both of them love God more than their spouse, then thats all that matters. as decendants of abraham, whoever we choose, god will annoint. like jacob, you love someone, you just go for it, without worrying about the differences whatsoever, and the only thing we need to make sure is if the other half, whether boyfriend or girlfriend, put Jesus first above everything else. because Jesus has to be the glue in a relationship. 

and we can only love God more than our spouse or boyfriend/girlfriend, when we realise He gave up his son for us. and showing that agape love that Jesus showed us, to our boyfriend/girlfriend, is all we need to do. to love without limit. that no matter what, we'll always love the person, even if the person doesnt appreciate it. because when Jesus gave up his life, he didnt just give it up who accepted it, but also those who rejected, those who didnt appreciate what he did. and thats the true agape love, the unconditional love. 

God knew what was troubling me, and i guess all people will be touched, when they feel the agape love. its amazing. Jesus gave up his life, even though our feelings werent mutual yet, and he just waited for us, to finally realise the love he had for us, and then the feelings become mutual. love has no boundaries. no heart too cold, no heart too hard.

relationships. its not that complex as the world portrays it to be. its so simple. you like someone, if the feeling's mutual, and if both of you put God before your spouse, then thats all. its really, really, not that complex as what it seems. 

thank you Lord, for opening my eyes. you touched my heart, just what i needed. 

the lord my banner.