Monday, July 31, 2006
-Monday, July 31, 2006
its the start of another week but i've got a feeling its gonna turn out fine. ytd, had church. i always love church, but i love god more! yea met mel at aljunied mrt at 9.20 then went to church. i've sensed many signs god is trying to tell me not to worry. to just leave everytihng into his hands. the sermon was very good by some guy called jacob john. most accurate preacher and prophet i've seen. he's seen the deepest of my heart which no other prophet has done. yea. then after taht had practice. then went to eat lunch and headed home. overall pretty tired. but i'm catching up with my work. so thats a good sign. writing songs and trying to chnage myself. father help me.
JuL scribbled at 10.00PM.revolutionize the music. paint and change the music landscape.
Friday, July 28, 2006
-Friday, July 28, 2006
its the weekend. and 5 days since tapestry!! i'm freaking bored..school's been ok.. not that bad.. yea. i'm really depressed and tired. been writing songs and composing the songs with my secret fren, M! (: haha thanks alot M! lol dun say your name ok? (: haha yea. i'm suffering fro mthe after-effects of tapestry. depressing. everyday is terror. i'm missing tapestry like mad. the times we spent together. jamming, the countless hours we had to sacrifice and our studies and stuff that we had to sacrifice. though it may not sound worth it, but for god, its more than worth it.
JuL scribbled at 7.56PM. I'm Free.
Sunday, July 23, 2006
-Sunday, July 23, 2006
its been a hectic weekend for tapestry. i'm really weak and i need strength from God.
on friday night, i went over to aunt jorris house for the meeting of the eastern youth cell. met many of the youths there. the p6s are joining the cell too, so there's alot of work to be done to help run the cell, help them to mature, bring up the next generation of youths. then after that, went home and matt, shawn and joel and lionel came over to stay. we mucked around and then slept.
the next day, headed down to church with lio, joel matt and shawn at 8.45 then met up with the rest of the band for practice. after practice, all of us headed down to heeren for the moment we had all been waiting for. TAPESTRY.
the 3pm slot, sang for marcus always and forever. i didn't think i sang well. but well i can't really say for myself. i just did the best i could. i could really feel god's annointing on all the songs. thank you lord. then went for prayer walk with brian shawn and mabel. after that, came back to heeren to paly at the 7pm slot. was really good too. though i made some mistakes, who doesn't? yea. but i felt i just did it all for the lord. was really happy after that then went for dinenr and then to lio's house to spend the night.
then today, headed down to church yea. palyed for team 3. i felt it was ok overall. then after that had another practice for the raptured then headed down to bugis for lunch and then headed to heeren for the 7pm slot. yea. the equalization wasn't that good but well, everything's over. what can we do about it ? yea. not bad. ytd was better though. then after that, had dinner at fish & co. and headed back to home sweet home.
God has been so good to me this past week, i was so on fire for him. but i feel really tired. i play for 2 teams. i hope people wun say cosm y mom is IC of the worsihp ministry, i am put in 2 teams. well, i hope i've proven that i take my music and christian life really seriously. i thought i couldn't handle two teams, but god helped me through. if i can climb mt kinabalu, i'm sure i can do anyting with GOD. during tapestry, people say like why i keep looking to the ground. answer is this. cos the sweat keeps getting into my eyes. like today's 7pm slot, the sweat went int omy eyes and i couldn't see. so i jsut closed my eyes and looked towards GOD, and i asked him "Lord, i can't see, but be my eyes oh lord, guide my hands, so that i may play for you." yea. but i just wanna play for god.
yea this song is another i wrote. not much melody, i keep forgetting the melody. dang.
I'm FreeVerse
You're everything to me,
my stregth is in You.
My feet will not be shaken,
for you are my rock on which i stand.
and i come before you lord,
in your presence once again,
for i long to see your face.
Chorus
I'm free, becasue of your great love,
I'm free, because u first loved me.
I'm free, because u died for me,
And everything i ahve, i give it all to you.
Bridge
You are great and mighty,
beyond my wildest dreams,
Everlasting love for me,
your love which set me free.
JuL scribbled at 11.38PM. always and forever.
Sunday, July 16, 2006
-Sunday, July 16, 2006
adding to the last post. yea. i've just bout had it with you. seems like we can't work together and u can't accept my style of playing. i've forgiven u, but i'm not gonna work with u anymore. even if its gonan limit me, i don't mind. i've just bout had enough of this. all this things u have against me. when the chords i play are correct, u say its wrong. the way i use my pedal. its wad boss recommended. i'm just using it the way theyt say is good .
thanks to those soundmen who finally got what i'm rtying to put across. i guess its bene cleared up .
continue with the post below.
JuL sribbled at 10.14PM. (:.
-Sunday, July 16, 2006
today was good. played for team 2. played time has come and hallelujiah. not bad. then there was his prophet who came to preach. really good, has a godo sense of humour. really annointed. then after that had team 3 practice. not bad. then had tapestry practice. was pretty ok but we couldn't work out stars.
i'm gonna go crazy guitar this week. gonna go crazy practising.
its 6 days to tapestry. everyday, its nearing. i'm not really panicking. but i just wanna make sure i do my best for god. i'm having some problems with some peole who are involved in tapestry. its counted pretty serious tome, but i'm not saying anything. i just ignoring you pretty much. To love without limit. thats what i'm trying to do.
tapestry.. come quickly. Father, do your work and save all those lost souls out there oh father, for without you weare nothing lord, nothing Lord.
father my soul cries out to you
the living god.
my strength, my shield,
the only one whom i can fall back on.
you've changed me,
you've touched me,
beyond everything i've ever known
for your love for me is limitless.
Chorus.
My king, my lord,
my redeemer, my friend.
my saviour, my comforter
to whom all my praise goes out to, My God.
yeap. this is my song. its not realy a song. i don't have a melody or rhythm. it jsut came to me while i was talking to God. yea.
JuL scribbled at 10.02PM.nothing is impossible, for GOD.
-Sunday, July 16, 2006
muthu has decided to speak again.
this whole week has been a pretty hectic week. i've been practicing like crazy this whole week. clocking in like 8 hours of practice or something. friday i had tapestry for matt's team. was pretty ok. a bit fun. but then again, there were spiritual attacks and stuff. then today, went to church, changed my guit strings and stuff. then headed down to meet the other tapestry teams for a workshop and briefing. some unpleasant sutff and nonsnse took palce during the briefing which i was very unhappy about but i shall not elaborate. yea then headed down to church for practice for marcus's team. then again, there were spiritual attacks and stuff. haiz. 1 more week lord. 1 more week lord. come same the souls o lord.
I've been pretty down this week. all the backstabbing and stuf. nonsense about people. i just can't stand it any longer. i'm on the verge of breakdown and everyone seems to have a problem with me.
IF U GOT A PROBLEM WITH ME, U COME SETTLE WITH ME. U DON'T GO BACKSTABBING PEOPLE.
on friday, i had a problem with some members and i was really irritated. trying to change my style of playing. u say once, twice i'm ok with it. i'm sorry if i'm left-handed and i don't have as much control on my right hand to have many strumming patterns. don't tell me where to stand. i stand where i want to stand. is it my fault that i'm deaf? well, i can't help it. are you gonna donate me a ear ?
today also. during the brifing say me say me. u got problem come settle. don't talk behind me back. think i deaf one. the whole hall so silent then u snicker behind me.
i particularly targeting one or two people. if my fren say me, i don't mind. but if u not my fren u don't come say me cos u don't understand me.
there's a clear line between band mates, team mates and friends. just becasue i know u does not mean u are my fren. so better consider u my fren or just a band mate. i'm really pissed at this. people keep telling me to cool down and cheer up and stop being emo and depressed. but i'm really hurt. a knife has ben thrust into my heart. and everytime someone just keeps shoving it deeper. but the reason why i'm still here is becasue of god's grace.
i feel that this has gone too far. you maybe be better than me in the musical aspect. but that doesn't mean you're always right.
JuL scribbled at 1.11AM. Look to You.
Tuesday, July 11, 2006
-Tuesday, July 11, 2006
i'm not gonna say anything any longer.
muthu will now remain silent.
JuL scribbled at 6.41PM. muthu will now remain silent.
Sunday, July 09, 2006
-Sunday, July 09, 2006
Today was qutie fun. didn't expect it to be that much fun. lol. yea had youth service.. TAKE IT ALL! haha then had practice for next week worsihp. was really fun. then after thaqt had tapestry practice for the raptured. really fun too. a lot of funny moments. then sam goh was offering to treat all of us pizza hut. so yea we went. then jmo, elaine, evelyn, matt, marcus, shawn and swong went to do the usual jumping thing in the lift. and thus. they... GOT STUCK! lol half way between 1st and 2nd level! lol those jokers. only after half an hour then they finally got out. then we cabbed down to suntec. me, asriel, swong, jmo and lionel were in 1 cab. th driver didn't allow 5 people so i hurry squated down on the floor and the driver thought only got 4 people so he went. lol super funny man. the others wee trying to contain their laughters so they just said some random stuff and laughed it out. lol. then after having pizza had youghurt then went home. pretty good day.
When u.mark came to our cell today, he shared something bout faith. which really hit me. if god asked me to give up my most precious and important sutff for him, would i do it ? yeap. tapestry is coming really soon. playing for two teams is really taking its toll on me. i'm wearing out everyday but somehow i like it (:. so yea. hope God preserves my strength.
Oh yea, i'm targeting some people but i wun say who. its about certain issue i'm quite not happy about with. Just because you can stop me or cut me doesn't give u the right to. to cetain soundmans. just because u can cut off my guit doesn't give u the right to. u want me to shut up just open your mouth and tell me, that's what a mouth is for. i get really pissed at these kinda people. the only reason why i dun retaliate is because i'm practising james 1.19. BUT i say again. DUN EVER THINK U HAVE THE RIGHT TO DO SOMETHING EVEN WHEN YOU CAN. and don't ever shout at me. u want to tell me something just come and tell me. i'm just being really nice now, controlling my anger. but the bible doesn't say u can't get angry. just be slow to anger. and i've been really slow. so dun think i can be shoved around.
JuL scribbled at 10.37PM. quit making me torn apart, i can't stand it any longer.
Saturday, July 08, 2006
-Saturday, July 08, 2006
had tapestry prac in the afternoon. was pretty good. we managed to finish quite a number of songs though we need to polish up on them. i learnt many sutfff on my guit. yeap and i'll be singing miles apart together with always and forever cos i can reach the key :D. not that my voice is good. its just that i can tarik. yeap. but had a few arguments with some people and i was really not happy. if they tel lme something and its constructive, i'll take it, even if i dun like it. but todae the arguments were like unreasonable. i wanted to retaliate when they insulted me, but i heard a voice "Go on, fight for your rights." and i knew that it was the devil who was trying to destroy the bond between the team. so i held back, and i prayed "Lord, help me to contain my anger" and yea. i was really not happy but i didn't say anything. cos i know that the devil was trying tear us apart, trying to not make us work as a team. so i resisted him. so overall it was pretty good. i know the tapestry teams are under spiritual attacks like this one i mentioned and i've been facing a LOT. many times i've wanted to quit the team, but then if i quit, that means the devil would succeed. so yea. i'm just really confused. here i am, trying my best to do wad i can, to make this tapestry a success. Lord, i kneel before you and cry out for help from You above o lord, for my strength comes from You alone. help me lord, for without You, i can do nothing. NOTHING o Lord.
JuL scribbled at 9.39PM. Humbled by your majesty
Thursday, July 06, 2006
-Thursday, July 06, 2006
Its thursday and my life's been really hectic. really tired and i can't really concentrate in school. i just sleep through the boring lessons. i'm facing somewhat u can call problems. many misunderstandings and stuff and i'm not sure what i want to do with my life and what i hope to achieve so i'm gonna leave it to God. whereever he brings me, i'm happy with it. Tapestry is nearing and i'm busy practising. yeap. tmr is friday and its MOE excel.. whatever it is... i dunno wad is it but so long school ends earlier i'm happy wiht it :D. yeap oging to holland V for ice cream.. ahh... <3. yea. weekend's coming. and so is the time.
JuL scribbled at 9.43PM. So i look at the stars.
Saturday, July 01, 2006
-Saturday, July 01, 2006
Its been a hactic week. school was really draggy but went out with wei en, melissa shawn, serene and daphne. was quite ok. then on wednesday, i had to finish my June holiday SS project. i didn't even touch it during the holidays and it was 20% of my CA. so i dad till 1.15 AM and then on thursday night did till 5.30AM. haha. but at least i completed it. then today had owrship at uncle ced's house. was not bad.. after all the stress and work, finally got to spend time with god. yeap. then had tapestry practice in church. didn'st start of really well but it was good after that. haha. during always and forever, i sang cause marcus couldn't reach the key. so i've proven that voices are versatile. u just gotta know how to use them. after the whole worship, i was thinking of the vocals in the music ministry. our music is good, but our vocals have a lot of polishing to do. and how are we gonna improve the vocal part of the ministry? i thought about why i could sing always and forever. it was because i pushed myself, i sang with all my heart, and stretched my voicebox. its true some people cannot reach certain notes and keys, but then again, when we sing, we should give it our all. we shouldn't just give god mediocre effort and worship. many people in our church, when they cannot reach a key, they mjust transpose. even if u try and you cannot reach it, just sing. if you're almost there, just push yourself a bit more. don't always take the shortcut. if we transpose the key to a key that we're comfortable to sing in, then we'll never be able to expand our voice capability. of course we all want to be comfortable when we sing, but after pushing yourself, you'll find it easier as u sing. if we sing at a key we're comfortable in, then we won't practice our vocals and it'll be like sunday comes then just sing. throughout the week, no effort was put in. is that giving god our best? i feel that if the singers really want to be better, then they have to work. no one ever got good by relaxing and not doing anything. i hope the singers will take note of this.
Tmr is cheryl's run. its getting late and i gotta rest. (: toodles people!
JuL scribbled at 11.47PM. Open the eyes of my heart lord. (: